Mother Refuses to Cook Gluten-Free Foods as 17-Year-Old Allergic Son Keeps 'Cheat-Eating' Pizzas, Leading To a Glutenous Family Drama

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    He ate cake and pizza at a friend's. He's not 10 he's 17. I can't be with him everywhere and police every single thing he eats. He knows what wheat is and what to look for
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    AITA for refusing to cook gluten free or take my near adult son out to eat?
  • 03
    My 17 year old son was diagnosed recently with a wheat allergy. He had been battling gut issues for a few months and we finally found that he can't have wheat. I immediately went into
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    research mode. I read labels learned all names for wheat bought hundreds of dollars of food/snacks for him to try. I took him to whole foods and organic markets for hundreds more. I
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    bought wheat alternative flours and began cooking gluten free. He still had digestive issues. So back to dr. Only issue wheat.
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    Come to find out he's spending his pay check at school on biscuits and gluten filled snacks. He goes to a friend's house and bam eats McDonald's and wheat
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    filled junk. The doc and I warned him that this is only mild- moderate but it can get worse. He actually came home with urticaria and hives last weekend.
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    He ate cake and pizza at a friend's. He's not 10 he's 17. I can't be with him everywhere and police every single thing he eats.He knows what wheat is and
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    what to look for we literally learned together. The school said they won't cut him off even with a dr note cause he's old enough to police himself. Tgey provide alternatives but he won't eat
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    them. He's stubborn. Tonight we went out to a gluten friendly restaurant and I got him a gluten free meal 26 dollars (ours average 15-18). I made sure he was good with the selction. He didn't eat it
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    but instead snuck off others plates and snuck bread. My MIL is an enabler(just a bit won't bother him 10 bites later) He stunk up the car on the way home and
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    tried to deny that he ate whest but the guy won't lie. He is wanting to stay home due to gut pain but I'm getting peeved cause he's causing it. Am I an awful mom that If he's going to
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    eat what he wants that I am just over making the effort and spending way extra money when he's not even following the diet (I have been begging, trying, and cooking GF for over 9 mos and
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    have spent thousands trying to find what even I feel taste pretty good alternative). I don't want to be a uncaring person but I feel like I'm wasting time and money that we don't really have when it makes no difference. AITA?
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    Reasonable-Sale8611 • 1d ago A hole Ent... Top 1% Comme... He's having trouble confronting his new, wheat-free life and is rebelling, more or less hoping that if he ignores the problem then it will go away. Teens making
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    dangerous choices around their allergy is probably not that uncommon. In a way, it's the most dangerous part of life in which to have an allergy. If your allergy is discovered as a young child, it's
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    just part of your normal, what you grow up with. If your allergy develops as an adult, you are mature enough to grieve your old way of life and settle into the new
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    way. If your allergy develops as a teen, it's the time of life when you have independence without maturity and when you are rebelling against everything.
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    I would give him some grace, in your own mind. In practice, you're mom (or dad) so you have to keep pushing. If you stop making his wheat-free meals, it just validates the idea that his allergy is not a big
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    deal. To me, it sounds like he needs therapy, i.e. someone to guide/nudge him toward a habit of safe choices, who doesn't have that combination of love and authority that a teen has with their mom, that makes them want to push all
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    your buttons and prove you wrong when you say they'll eventually have to behave like a responsible adult. I would also see if his allergist can talk to him and give him a more detailed explanation of why it is dangerous to do what he is doing.
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    xLovelnfinite • 2d ago • I'm Celiac, so I think I'm uniquely able to answer this. Honestly, I came into this post ready to flip out
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    because my own family refuses to cook GF or even have anything GF for me. I always have to bring my own food, and my dad has even
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    yelled at me to "shut up about your stupid Celiac, no one cares," when at a restaurant and I was asking about options and about CC.
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    So yes. I was SO ready to say AH. But... NTA.
  • 26
    He is putting himself through pain and gastro issues, and for what? A slice of pizza? I know what being glutened does - it's not pretty and it smells.
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    He needs to buckle down and go strict with this diet. And GF food is SO EXPENSIVE! You're spending all of this money for him to wreck any progress you've tried to make? Nah.
  • 28
    Tell him you're done, and when he's ready to take this seriously, he can talk to you. Honestly, I would tell him he's on his own for dinner.

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